We all are going through some kind of a transition right now, yet we might not even be aware of it at all. We are not aware of how it is tearing us apart inside. Or not aware of how it is tearing us apart from those we love and care for.

That’s what happened to me last October.

Here’s the transition framework I used to help me accept, get behind the wheel and get excited about the change in my life.

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“I changed my mind.” She told me in a calm voice.

“But… we just agreed 5 minutes ago to what we were going to do and we have already taken the first step towards our plan.” I told her. “You cannot change your mind now.”

“Why cannot I?”

Those three words stopped me in my thinking that morning.

This month's newsletter is touching on a topic that so many of us are experiencing in silence. I wanted to shine a light and give a voice to those who love their chosen professions despite the challenging environment they are facing at work right now.

Below is a conversation I had with a lovely human being who allowed me to share her journey to the powerful insights she gained when we met last week.

Matt already thought of himself as being a pretty smart guy but now that he entered a new phase in his life, he wanted "New Rules" to succeed.

He has been divorced for a few years and his kids were turning into "independence-oriented young adults" aka entering their teen years.

How to create spaces for new ideas and innovations within a team and an organization.

It was a hot summer day in June when the phone rang. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember being fulfilled and happy and feeling satisfied knowing my work was making an impact and had a purpose. That's when my cell phone rang, and I almost didn't answer it. It was a call from an unknown number, and I would usually let those calls go straight to my voicemail.

But this call I picked up. And it changed the rest of my life.

It was…

Have you ever heard paramedics or first responders tell the injured at the scene of an accident to not move? It’s because there is a high chance they might get injured more if they move. The high levels of adrenaline in their bloodstreams are masking the pain in their bodies and the injured feel “fine”. Even though they could have broken bones, serious injuries, yet, they could feel no pain at all.

That's what happened to me in the ER.

When I was growing up, in the beginning of summers, my parents would drop me off at my dad’s mom’s house. She lived by herself in a village 12 km from the town where I lived. I have many memories hitch-hiking with my dad at the outskirts of the town, catching a ride with strangers and then walking from the outskirts of the village to my grandmother’s house.

Today something really embarrassing happened to me. Even my coach "noticed" the irony. I got stuck with my car right in front of my driveway. I took the kids to school this morning, drove carefully all the way there and back, and for the last 60 sec of my drive I got stuck. The funny thing is that we shoveled that snow there a few days earlier thinking that it would melt or get rained on. I mean we are in Seattle. But not this time.

I was thinking of taking a picture and sending it to my husband... but I felt too embarrassed. I haven’t seen the irony or the fun in my stuck situation yet.

So, instead, I got out of the car and went to get the shovel. And this is how the story starts.

One of my most memorable moments was when Steve, a high level engineering leader, trusted me enough to tell me one morning with a big sigh "Andrea, in the Executive Team we agreed to model trust to our teams. But, I have to confess, I don't know how to do that."

Steve has been "confessing" other smaller vulnerable things he didn't know in our sessions, but this time, I felt all his trust and his willingness to step to the edge of his knowledge.

Photo by Coasteering on Unsplash

Many ask me for advice on how to improve their business and professional relationships so today I would like to share with you one of my favorite answers that involves the dinner table.

First, I ask them this question: do you eat your meals together with your family or significant other? If they answer no, my answer will include an extra step for them – introducing the habit of eating together. If they say yes, they already have an opportunity tonight to try my answer out. It is a simple exercise that anybody can do.

Our own journey in life gives us the right to be enough because surviving life’s darkest moments is our indisputable evidence, we are enough.

- “I only work with coaches who have 15+ years of experience.

- Great, I qualify.

- But I thought you have been coaching for only 4 years…?

- That is true, too.

- I am confused…

Time management is a learned skill that most of us do not learn until we start our first job, start our family or go through adversity.

It is not about finding more hours in the day to be able to do more. It is not about saying no to everything. It is not about taking away from how you want to live your life.

It is about learning how to add value to your own life. I hear this phrase in the business environment a lot “adding value to my customers”.

“I lost my job. I am stuck in my apartment by myself. I feel alone.”

I have been coaching a few amazing women over the past 6 weeks who lost their jobs and have found me through a partnership that offered them pro bono coaching sessions during these difficult times.

These women were feeling lonely and alone and started doubting themselves “Am I good enough?” “Why me?” “I do not think anyone will hiring me.”

A similar pattern of questions kept coming up in our conversations: “I do not know what to do.” “What are some small steps that I can take to not feel overwhelmed yet still move forward?” “I do not want to be paralyzed by my own thoughts and the circumstances around me.”

We all know that the people who are closest to the work know why things are going wrong, and they usually have great ideas on how to solve them.

So, why then, when leaders ask what is really going on, almost nobody wants to honestly answer that question? Even the brave souls sugar coat, dusting the answer with recognition of some sort and with minimizing the impact of the real issue.