“I try to recognize my team all the time.”

"I try to recognize my team all the time." he said.

"And how often do you accept their recognition?" I asked.

"Well, not that often. But it isn't about me. It is about the team." he replied. "How does accepting the recognition help the other person anyway?"

"Do you accept gifts from others? Accepting a recognition is like accepting a gift. The other person is offering you a gift. Would you reject a gift by saying you don't really need it or you already got one?"

"No, of course not. I would be polite & take it because I know it means a lot for the other person to offer me something. Especially if they paid for it."

"So imagine our brain cannot distinguish btw the feeling of receiving a physical or a conceptual gift. We feel happy in both cases. Accepting a recognition is polite & gives the other person the serotonins, too. They will actually feel happy, too."

"So by me accepting the recognition we'll both feel good about it?"

"Yes AND accept it w a simple Thank You. If you add 'it wasn't a big deal' or 'not a problem' that could evoke the feelings of rejection. Stay neutral & just use Thank You."

"What if I am being recognized by my boss but I feel my team deserves it, too?"

"Great question. You accept it 1st, then you say something like this: "Thank you. And I would like you to also recognize these team members who also deserve to be acknowledged for their work & effort. Would you jump on a quick call with me to do so?" Or "Thank you. And it would mean a lot to the other team members to get this recognition as well because I know they worked hard and creatively on solving this issue. I have an idea of what would surprise them. Would you join me in surprising them tomorrow?"